Dear World: My name is Aaron and I have been given the "opportunity" to write the first post of our "hey look, we're newly married" blog. Not only is it our first post on the blog, but I can gratefully say it's my first posting ever on any blog. You may be wondering- how can this be!? How has he never written on a blog before? Is this a digital coming of age? A spiritual awakening? What has taken him so long to finally see the light and embrace this gift from the Internet gods? He's been born again and has caught the vision!
In reality, none of those assumptions are true. I'm actually writing this post under duress. Lauren, my lovely wife turned wannabe Somali pirate, has taken my phone and hid it in our extra room. The ransom: this blog post. She's clever- the phone is on silent, making it impossible for me to call it and discover its hiding place. The fact that the extra room is a jungle of sorts also rules out any possibility of ever finding it on my own. As it stands, unless I post to the blog tonight this injustice will continue into the foreseeable future.
So, world, there you have it. Thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed my first, and likely last, blog post.
We had just gotten married two days earlier, and living conditions were a little Spartan. I was eating cereal out of a paper bowl with a plastic fork because we had run out of spoons. They weren't even name brand cheerios. But that didn't stop a small miracle from taking place. 
